Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Daily Reflection from "Days of Healing"

Yesterday (June 28), I found this meditation from “Days of Healing”, part of the Hazelden Meditation Series:

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create that fact.

-William James


Many adult children learn that rejection and abandonment are part and parcel of being alive. We are so used to feeling as though things won’t work out, that fear – like a shadow – is always lurking behind us. Usually there’s something specific to be afraid of – that we won’t have enough money to pay our bills, someone we love will die, or our children won’t do well in school. And always there’s the generalized fear that events will overwhelm us in spite of our best efforts.

We need to be careful about creating what we look for. Regardless of the frightening experiences of the past, we need to believe that other results are possible: All loved ones don’t leave, all risks don’t end in devastation, and all efforts aren’t dashed on the rocks of defeat. New consequences are possible when we believe they’re possible. The brave new world that each of us seeks stands on the shoulders of that belief.

I am sick and tired of being fearful. Today, I am confident that positive efforts will yield positive results.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

If it aint broke...

"What's wrong with me, and how do I fix it?"

I've been asking that question for a long time. I've studied psychology, read a whole lot, gone to dozens of therapists, even become a therapist, trying to answer that question. I've acquired many different answers from many different sources.

The most useful answer I have comes from Josh, my ex-boyfriend.

"What's wrong with you is that you are looking for answers to the wrong questions. You can fix that problem by asking different questions."